Fantasy Fiction and Football

Oh, the romance, the desire, the overwhelming feeling that real life is NOT GOOD ENOUGH - that's where fantasy comes in...

No, I'm not talking about anything dirty, I am talking about the compulsion we have as humans to determine that our current surroundings/ football team/ spouse/ etc are not quite what we would create if we could simply close our eyes and bewitch ourselves into something alternative, something better.  This is the consequence of being the only know sentient beings in the universe, our perceptions of what might be more entertaining or more enjoyable have no sounding board outside of others like ourselves.  And so we are trapped in our minds having these great ideas and no outlet:

Thought: I could coach a better team than any of those current NFL jokers
Solution: Fantasy Football - a mental masturbatory exercise in feeling superior because you were able to virtually compose a team of players that don't really know you're their coach

Thought: It'd be super cool if dragons were real and life was more like a game of risk.
Solution: Game of Thrones (books, HBO show, RPG and LRPG, plus I'm sure there's some sort of magic-esque game being played with the characters)

There are other examples that I could list, but these are simply the two I encountered today (if you don't count drooling over the cover art of some sexy books on Amazon), and participated in!  I am no better than the fantasy dwellers of D&D and window shopping on 5th Avenue. I will most likely never coach an NFL team (as my only qualification is that I really like to watch big tough guys make big tough plays), nor will I be indulging in backstabbing an heir to an imaginary throne (though more likely than the NFL scenario - thanks a lot Roger Goodell!) but it never hurts to fantasize.

Gay Men: Regret or Relief?

Before I start into the important stuff, I need to get one thing off my chest -- I love you, Matt Bomer.  You are flawless.  No matter what anyone else says on the Good Reads discussion board, I think that you are the clear choice to play Matthew de Clairmont in the Discovery of Witches movie (you should call your agent and get in on that).  Sometime I daydream about us meeting and this is sort of how it goes:

knock at door, April opens door to see Matt Bomer standing in Kensington looking like a tropical sea breeze in the oppressive heat (probably wearing white linen pants).  

Me: OMIGOSH! You're Matt Bomer, I love you!
MB: You're kidding, April Maxwell, I love you!  You make those old purple work out pants look amazing, and without make up you're more stunning than all the pictures I've seen of you on Facebook!
Me: Well...if you think so
MB: I know so!  I can't imagine a life lived without you any longer, please, run away with me.  Of course we can take all of your animals, and your romance novels.

This is usually the part where my subconscious realizes that I've gone way overboard and wakes me from the fantasy that will only hurt me in the long run.

You need to understand that this is not a random event reserved just for Matt Bomer (sorry Matt).  Every year I seem to fall head over heels in love with a TV actor.  This is always a risk for someone who watches as much TV as I do, and I am totally willing to live with the consequences.

However, lately every time I fall madly in love - one Google search tells me that my chances are less than nil, my new crush is totally and completely (and happily) gay.  This kind of information can crush a girls' spirit.  Now my fantasy surely can't happen, he doesn't even like women, let alone women in Philadelphia that like to eat while watching TV in purple track pants.  The knowledge that I am coveting what I can't have makes it less appealing to daydream, it looses it's escapism for me.  I guess I have to find another ridiculously hot guy to fall madly in love with (but I had already married MB in my head...).

I was trying to explain why I wasn't as excited to see MB in Magic Mike to my sister, and she offered an entirely different perspective on the matter.  She said that when she realizes someone she finds super attractive on TV is gay, she's relieved.  Now she doesn't have to worry about what might happen if she was to meet this person.  She no longer has to worry about her reaction.  She doesn't have to think what might happen if the object of her affection doesn't like children, or wants her to leave her husband, or has cats.  She can watch and enjoy, carefree, now that there is no risk involved.

So, when I find out that my TV fantasy man is gay in real life, should I regret my choice or feel relieved that I won't have to choose between my husband and this mega stud?